Alphabet SHOW-N-TELL?

The letter "I" can bite me. I never realized how much I dislike it. Until...well, now.

Canyon started pre-school yesterday, which he LOVES, and the teacher gave me a daily schedule. This makes me HAPPY because I am OCD and I like to know what my child is doing all day.

So, on Friday's, they have show-n tell, and they have to bring something that starts with whatever letter they are learning that week.

Well, wouldn't you know it...the first week...we are learning the letter "I." Now, I don't know about you, but I don't really have a ton of fun SHOW-N-TELL items that start with the letter "I." I'm still confused about why we are starting with "I" anyway. Why can't we start with "A" the first week? I have tons of crap that starts with that letter....and isn't it the first letter of the alphabet? Hmm...strange.

 I guess it's time to get creative. HA! Mommy-mode.

Now, yesterday, I read a very interesting article on Parenting.com about children and their sleeping patterns.

Canyon has been on a very strict schedule since he was a baby. Until about a year ago, things were ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE and my life was wonderful. :)

I am NOT someone that likes to just "wing it." I'm just not. I like to grocery shop for the WEEK...plan my meals. I like to do my laundry on the weekend, so we all have clean clothes for the WEEK. I like to make sure everything is in order for the WEEK. I don't like when things are out of my control. That's something I have seriously had to work on lately.

I've tried being more lenient with his schedule due to our current situation and how chaotic our life has been.

But, guess what?

ROUTINE for my little family is back in business. Starting, yesterday. And, guess what? I couldn't be happier.

All in all, the article says that, wait for it....ROUTINE is best for kids. :)  <--happy face!
So, I created an evening schedule for Canyon--that will happen EVERY night (except weekends).

I don't think I am being crazy. This is the norm for us.

So, here's how this is going to go down:

5:30-6:30: Dinner
6:30-7:00: Bath/Brush Teeth/ Potty
7:00-7:30: Tv/ Snuggle Time With Mommy & Daddy
7:30-8:00: Books!!!
8:00-8:30: BED!!!

Last night, it worked like a charm. By 8:10 PM, Canyon was snoozing. :)

Being a mom is the most important job I have. I have to make sure I do that job the absolute BEST that I can. Canyon is my #1 priority. It’s not fun for me to miss out on certain things, but if I can create a schedule that allows me to spend time with my son in the evenings AND it be better for him, I plan to do just that.

 

Love + Marriage = A baby.... Oh, That's How It Goes??? ;)

LOVE + Marriage = A baby...?


Hmmm...

Well, we have a FOUR year old and we are just NOW planning our wedding..so, I guess that little scenario is out. :)  When I found out that I was pregnant, the thought of marriage crossed our minds. However, we chose to wait. We wanted to be sure that we were getting married for the RIGHT reasons. I only want to be married one time. That's it. So, it wasn't a "let's get married because we are having a baby" kind of thing for me..or for Dale.


BUT.....I didn't expect my baby to be almost five years old when Dale and I got married either. But, life happens, things come up, and well, it wasn't a rush for us.


So, that's where we are. I got my engagement ring on April 1st (my birthday). We were at home and it was perfect. Twenty years from now, when I think back to how we got engaged, I will remember the complete contentment of being at home with both my boys and feeling complete happiness.


LIFE= complete chaos. Now, add planning a wedding to that and you have....well, an anxiety-proned, crazy woman. :)


I have NO idea what I want, where I want it, when I want it, or anything when it comes to planning this wedding. All I know is that with JUST our family...we are at 150 people. Big wedding? Apparently.


I know it will be worth it and really memorable, but when I really consider all my options, a small beach wedding with Dale, Canyon, and our parents and two brothers would be more than enough for me.


I guess we'll see how this all plays out....But, the advice from other people would be GREATLY appreciated.
HA.


On to the next thing. Canyon, my big boy, is starting PRE-SCHOOL next Monday. We are going to meet with his teacher on Friday morning....That should be interesting. He is pretty excited considering he got new school clothes, a new--big boy---booksack, a new CARS lunchbox with matching travel cup, and he will be getting new school shoes this weekend. Spoiled? Duh.


AND, he starts SOCCER soon. What am I going to do? I imagine myself running around like a mad woman, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love Dale and Canyon more than anything. They make my life happy. :))




I'm stressed out...Life is crazy...but, I have no choice but to live it..and I choose to live it happily.

Soccer mom? Who? ME!

SORRY! It's been TOO long. Life has been WILD and crazy with the little family recently....






Yep! That's right. I signed Canyon up for Soccer. He has been asking for several months if he could play, and I told myself that if he continued to ask (without anyone bringing it up) that I would let him. So, here goes nothing.


Let me first say that Dale nor I know ANYTHING about soccer...except that you kick the ball, run around, and try to score. Hmm...


At first, Canyon wanted to be the goalie. Then, we explained to him that you cannot run around and kick the ball if you play that position. So, now he wants to S-C-O-R-E. A lot. Hmmm....again.


I have a feeling this can go either way; really bad....or really good. Let's hope for "really good."


YES! This absolutely means I will be taking him to buy his cleats soon and get a little SOCCER magnet for my car with his name and number. Some of you might think that's silly since he is only FOUR. But, my child is starting his FIRST ever sport...Silly is the least of my worries.


I cannot wait until baseball starts...(that's his real talent). He is such a little atheletic child that I will let him play ALMOST anything...If he wants.


Let the games begin..


On another note.....Dale and I have been struggling with how to explain things to Canyon. He is in that middle-stage...Where he isn't old enought to fully understand everything, but most things...he does.


If you tell him something he doesn't understand, he has questions--which is what we are afraid of.


We are trying to figure out how to explain death....We had a family memeber, that Canyon loves dearly, pass recently. He didn't attend the memorial services as Dale and I thought that would be for the best. BUT, we have no idea what to tell him about the whole situation...Time for more research..... :(

1, 2, 3, 4............

I’m proud to say that I have survived the last four years and two months. 

It has been far from easy, but I am here, and I am happy. Canyon has given me more joy than I could have ever asked for. 

Canyon’s first year was amazing. I got to see him hit all of his milestones, and grow, and all of his firsts. 

Again, amazing. 

He is so stinking smart. I loved spending my days with him and playing with him all day, every day. I loved maintaining our townhouse and being a mommy. It was my job; the most important job.

I’m not sure if it is how I was raised or just my natural way of feeling, but I want to be the mommy and the woman that maintains all of the “womanly” duties. Actually, I love it. It makes me feel great. I love cleaning, cooking, picking up Canyon’s toys a million times a day, making our beds, grocery shopping, etc. I was meant to do those things. I really, can honestly say that I enjoy doing all these things.

Strange?

Hmm, maybe to other women. But, I am not a woman to completely give up the INDEPENDENT person that I am to do all these things. That’s what makes it so great.

I am a very strong woman. I am the DO IT ALL—ALL BY MYSELF type. 

Sometimes, the anxiety takes over and I start feeling overwhelmed, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Dale is great. He helps a lot. I can never complain of him not doing enough because, sometimes, when he tries to help, I refuse. Sometimes, I would just rather do things myself. All I have to do is ASK Dale to help me with something and he is more than willing to do it. 

I have a lot of respect for Dale & he has a lot of respect for me. That’s helpful in our relationship.

Now, I work full-time. My son is four. He is starting pre-school next month. He is able to tell me about his day. He is a big boy. I can’t say that him being four years old makes anything easier, but it does help me to sort of “let go” and allow him to grow up a little and enjoy going to school, and playing with his friends. He has TWO best friends—a boy and a girl. He talks about them constantly and it is the absolute cutest thing.

With each age, we are faced with new parenting challenges. I’ve survived the terrible two’s, and the dreadful three’s—which are wayyyyyyy worse than the terrible two’s, by the way. Now, I am in the fantastic four’s—as I like to call it. Even though Canyon can be hard-headed (which he gets EQUALLY from Dale & I), he is an amazing kid.

He has his moments-mostly when he doesn’t have a nap. But, for the majority of the time, he is well-behaved and uses his manors wonderfully. We get to have conversations, and I get to teach him new things. We get to go places as a family and take our time and enjoy outings WITHOUT bottles, diapers, and all the other things you have to carry around when you have baby. 

 I try to keep snack and toys, mainly cars, in my purse. Canyon is wild. There is no helping that. He’s four. He’s allowed to be wild. But, with the help of snacks and small toys, outings are much more enjoyable, especially when he is on the brink of a breakdown.  

He is also obsessed with my Ipod. He loves the games, but he is also a little music buff. You should see his dance moves –VIDEO COMING SOON. He puts the earphones in his ears and his head is bobbing the WHOLE time. He jams out…just like his mommy. 

What can I say? 

The past four years have gone by fairly quickly—bittersweet. But, I really look forward to seeing Canyon grow up. I am signing him up for SOCCER. Whoo. He is going to love it. I can’t wait. It’s the beginning of many sporting events. I’ve waited for this for FOUR years. 

Life is good right now. Each day is a blessing.

fam[ily] is important to me

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”

-Anthony Brandt

I have always been a family-oriented person.
I just didn't realize how family-oriented I wanted to be until I had Canyon.


When I started having contractions, I was home alone. Dale was working. I was sitting on the couch, eating red beans and rice, and watching TV. At first, I thought it was just braxton hicks because I had them many times before. I was 37 1/2 weeks pregnant. I didn't think I was in labor. I sent Dale a text and let him know I was in a little bit of pain and that I was going to try and get some sleep (IMPOSSIBLE). He called me to check on me several times and my answer was always the same, "I'm okay", even though I wasn't. I didn't want to worry him and I didn't want him to have to leave work to take me to the ER because we had already been down that road several times.


I spent most of the night on the phone with my mom & Dale-- and laying in the bathtub. I was trying to stay relaxed, but I was freaking out. At about 5 AM, I finally couldn't take it anymore. My contractions were semi-regular and starting to really hurt. Dale got off at 6, but he left at 5 to come home. He showered and we went to the hospital. They sent us straight up to Labor and Delivery and got us a room. They hooked me up to monitor my contractions and the nurse came in to check me. I was only 1 CM, but my contractions were regular. She called my Doctor.


I remember the nurse coming into my room and saying, "Okay, we are going to induce. I will start the pitocin in a few minutes." Then, she walked out of the room. Oh, WOW. We were about to have a baby. I panicked and looked at Dale. He looked pretty panicked too. We called our parents immediately since they were all three hours away.


They arrived quickly--or so it seemed. I'm sure they weren't going the speed limit.


When I was 3 CM, the Doctor came in to break my water. This made me jump up to 4 CM. We then discussed my epidural. I wanted to try and wait as long as possible before I asked for it. However, I refused as the Doctor was leaving the room. She didn't make it probably four steps out before I was screaming for it. WOW. Worst pain ever. 


I had to have TWO epidurals because the first one only numbed one side of my body. That was crazy.


Luckily, (NOT) my epidural wore off right as I was pushing Canyon out. I felt everything.


I was in labor for 27 hours total with Canyon. THREE of those hours consisted of pushing.


Thank GOD for my family and Dale's family for being there. We needed all the support we could get. Dale and my mom were both in the room with me while I was giving birth. I knew I would need them both and I am really glad they were there for me--and for Canyon.


When Canyon was in the NICU for those 13 days, our parents took turns coming down daily to check on us and make sure we were really okay. Phone calls just weren't cutting it. They gave us some comfort. Knowing they were there and we had so many people that loved us and loved Canyon was nice.


Now that I have my own little family to take care of, I know exactly what my parents felt. When you have a child, you worry about them more than yourself. You do whatever you have to do to keep them safe and taken care of. I just want to raise Canyon to have an appreciation for his family and to know how lucky he is.


Having such big families is wonderful and overwhelming (in a good way). We love everyone and we are so blessed that our son gets to grow up with so many people loving him. We couldn't ask for a better group of people to call our family.


:)

I was a crazy NEW mom....And, that's okay

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
- Robert Fulghum

As I sit here, watching morning cartoons with Canyon, and enjoying a nice, warm cup of coffee, I cannot help but think about the fact that my son is FOUR. Four. Wow. Where did the time go? Why is he not a baby anymore? This leads me to think about what my purpose is in life…Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life?

 

Well….

I’m a mom. I was born to be a mom—no doubt. And, I am a great mom. Everything about motherhood…fits me. My life revolves around Canyon and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  I love it. Being a mom makes me happy. It’s why I am here. It’s exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life. There is absolutely nothing better than a child looking at you and saying they love you. Those words coming from such a little, innocent person can fix…anything.

Being a new mom is not only exciting, but it is completely terrifying. You have no idea what to expect when you bring that baby home. Nine months is not long enough to mentally prepare yourself for all that is about to come. However, nine months is more than long enough to get the pregnancy experience.

From the time I found out I was pregnant and even up until I sat in my hospital room while my son was in the NICU, I read SO many articles online about parenting, newborns, and NICU babies and, of course, I read a million baby books. I read about schedules and how important they were for a newborn. I read about Canyon’s condition that the Neonatologist had described to me (I was mentally preparing myself for the worst). I read about everything you can possible think of. Reading all these things made me understand what being a new parent was all about and gave me a good idea of what to expect.

They also made me realize that I needed boundaries in place.

As a new parent, you have to have boundaries.

It was important to Dale and I that things be done a certain way when it came to our son. We wanted the absolute best for our child. We didn’t agree on EVERYTHING but we learned to compromise and take things day by day. When you become a parent, you know your child the best. You know what they need more than anyone else. So, looking back, setting boundaries and having rules in place….It was the best decision we could have made for Canyon. We weren’t unrealistic.  We were open and honest about how we felt about things.

Okay, I was more open and honest about how I felt about things than Dale was. He was kind of just…along for the ride. I’m sure I was no picnic in the park…especially with all of my crazy- NEW MOM moments. HA…But, he stuck by me and supported me-- & I did the same with him. That was important.

Babies bring joy, and… they also bring lots of people into your home. You can’t be afraid of saying how you feel about things because you will regret it one day. I never sat back and let something happen with my child that I didn’t agree with-- even if it was something as simple as how he was being fed or someone waking him up when he was asleep just so they could hold him. NO WAY. People come and visit and if you sit back and let things happen that you don’t agree with, you are the one paying for it later…when your baby is off schedule or has gas. I have more respect for new moms than, I think… anyone. It’s hard.

To this day, Dale and I have a certain way we want things done with our child—who cares! It’s our child. We have the right to raise him how we think is right. We have a good, respectful child that says PLEASE, THANK YOU, Yes Ma'am/No Sir & that asks for WATER to drink instead of juice or COKE… and loves vegetables (except cooked carrots). Obviously, we are doing something right.

No one can really grasp the experience that Dale and I went through with our child. It has scarred us for life. It’s why I am the way that I am with Canyon. That will probably never change.  But, I honestly think that even if Canyon had a normal delivery, I would have still been “crazy-psycho-new-mom.” And, that’s okay with me. I’m happy with the choices that Dale and I have made regarding Canyon. I think he is the little person he is because of those choices. He’s an awesome kid with lots of personality and more heart than you could ever imagine in a four year old.

When Canyon was a baby, I would sit in his room, in our big comfy reclining rocking chair, and just hold him and stare at him. He was my little miracle baby (still is). He inspired me. He overcame so much when he was born and that just amazed me. I knew I had to do everything in my power to give him the life he deserved. I can remember just holding him for hours and crying because I was terrified of anything ever happening to him. His birth scared the hell out of me. And, probably always will.

As he gets older, I know I will have to learn to let go more and more every day. But, for now, he is still little enough to curl up in our laps and read books (or play on our phones—he’s brilliant). So, I’ll take what I can get. I have a feeling he will always be a momma’s boy. I just hope that with Dale and I doing everything we can to be good parents, that he sees that because we all know kids mimic their parent’s actions.

 

Please feel free to leave comments. I’d love to hear some of your crazy-new mom stories.

Bath Time Horror ;)

“We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world.”

-Sameerah Shareef

Everyone who knew me before I became a mother knows I was the most impatient person with a dreadful case of anxiety. I learned quickly that being impatient with a kiddo—is next to impossible. It’s not about my schedule—it’s about Canyon’s. It’s what he wants—when he wants. I must say that I give myself props for being A LOT more patient than I used to be—I still have my moments. However, my anxiety is about the same, BUT I have learned how to control it which makes a HUGE difference.

 Bringing Canyon home from the hospital was the best day of my life. I remember Dale and I showing him his room, feeding him, and seeing him sleep soundly in my arms-- making cute little baby sounds. I remember him snuggled up on Dale’s chest just completely content after chugging one of his first bottles at home. He didn’t cry, ever. He was the sweetest baby in the world—except during his first bath.

Since Canyon was in the NICU for 13 days, his umbilical cord was removed there in order to properly hook him to some of the machines feeding him medication—(they hooked it into his belly-button). So, once we got him home, we could give him regular baths. We had one of the baby bathtubs but FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, we decided to use the big bathtub—easier for me to hold him and bathe him, I guess. I put water in the tub and got everything we would need. Dale and I worked together during this little experiment—and thank GOD he was there because I had an emotional breakdown.

Once his little body hit the water, he SCREAMED…& screamed…..and SCREAMED. I bathed him as quickly as I could and got him out. Dale had the towel ready and he wrapped him up. The look on Dale’s face was priceless when he looked at me and said, “He just peed on me…..and pooped.” Poor little Canyon was now quiet and almost asleep. The poor little guy was sooooo worked up from bath time that he had two accidents—on daddy-- and was now passing out. I immediately started crying because I knew what was coming. We had to repeat bath time…GREAT.... The scenario was pretty much the same, except I was crying and Dale and I bickered back and forth the whole time. Canyon screamed-- I worked quickly, and we got him out. This time, we dressed him and let him fall fast asleep. Even something as simple as a bath can cause major baby drama. But, the important thing is, Dale and I worked together and we made it through. After that first bath, Canyon started to love taking a bath so it all worked out in the end.

 I had this whole plan about how I wanted things to go when I became a mom, but when I saw that baby and he made his presence known—out the window that plan went. No one can ever express to you in words the feeling of being a mom. No one can explain the joy, love, and complete fear that comes over you when you realize you are now responsible for another life.

Being a new mom was hard—but more importantly, it made me who I am today. I am a great mother. I will never doubt that about myself, ever. My child loves me more than I could have ever imagined—I know this because he TELLS me 500,000 times a day. Dale and I have done a great job, so far, with raising our son. We know we have a LONG road ahead of us, but we gladly accept the challenge. There may even be more babies in the future—we’ll see.

:)

The beginning

"Some people say lucky...I say BLESSED."

I've been doing some research for a new, exciting writing adventure that I want to explore and I have come across so many sad stories about love, and loss, and single-parent households, and abuse, and they have all taught me something different. Life is hard, cruel even..but, it's up to you to make it a rewarding journey.

Each journey is different in it's own way.

LIFE is HARD.

I struggle with something new DAILY. But, when it comes to being a mommy...I'm blessed to have that opportunity. I'm blessed that God has given Dale & I an amazing little boy. Yeah, he had a hard time for the first 13 days of his life...but, he's a little fighter and I thank GOD every single day that he is a happy, healthy little man.

I can remember the day Canyon was born like it was yesterday. I can also remember the 12 days that would follow of him being in the NICU. Hardest time of my life. Absolutely exhausting--emotionally & physically. 

Canyon was born on Mother's Day in 2007. He was 7 lbs 15.9 oz and 20 inches long. He was completely blue when they laid him on my chest and he was not breathing. The nurses whisked him away to the table in the corner and started yelling things to each other and running around like little ants after their home had been destroyed by someone's foot--I have no idea what they were doing--All I knew was I was scared. I remember looking at Dale, standing next to me & holding my hand, and his face was completely white--as if he'd seen a ghost. I asked him, "Why isn't he crying?" He just looked at me.

The next thing I know--Canyon lets out one little yelp and  is then rushed to the NICU by the nurses and I was given medication to rest.I woke up in my room with my brother sitting next to my bed. I panicked and tried to get up but he stopped me. I passed out again.

I had no idea the emotional roller coaster that Dale and I were about to be on or how much prayer would play a part in our lives.

Being wheeled to the NICU for the first time was hard, but not as hard as walking in and seeing our newborn son hooked to machines with a tube down his throat. Complete shock and numbness filled me. What was happening? Why weren't we being prepped to head home with our son? Questions flooded me. I walked out and collapsed into my mom's arms. I'm not sure if Dale is just stronger than me, emotionally, but if it wasn't for him, I honestly wouldn't have made it through those long days. He made me eat, he made me get out of the hospital--in short visits, and he made me understand just how much he loved me and how much I could count on him to never leave us.

Seeing your child suffer or fight for his health is absolutely the worst yet....the most humbling... experience ever. Dale & I had to watch our son like this everyday for 13 days. We were only allowed in the NICU three times a day for a short period of time--like 15 to 20 minutes. We had to call the NICU before we went down there to make sure we would be allowed in--(sometimes they have emergencies with the babies in which no one can be allowed in--this happened several times while Canyon was tucked away in there.) BUT, We were there--scrubbing in--three times a day (when allowed)...with panic instilled inside us. We had no idea what to expect. All I know is that even though they discouraged us talking to Canyon--because he got all squirmy--I did it anyway. I honestly think that helped him. He heard mommy's voice. He knew I was there--along with Daddy and we weren't leaving him alone to be scared. The Dr.'s told us so many different things within that LONG 13 day time frame. I can remember his blood pressure actually rising to a normal level (it was extremely low when he was born & he was being given medications to help it reach a normal level) and then dropping back down...I still remember walking back our room (we roomed-in ALL 13 days) and crying my eyes out because we were so close to him being able to go home and then, within a few hours...he had a long journey ahead of him again. Finally, on day 12....he was healthy enough to sleep in our room for the night--hooked to a monitor that beeped constantly. One of my favorite pictures is the first time Dale got to hold him in our hospital room. We both cried. The picture is blurry because my camera was awful back then..but, it's still a favorite. Knowing the hospital frowned upon it, I still allowed Canyon to sleep snuggled up in his boppy in my bed, with me. There was nothing better. I woke up in a sweat several times that night--in addition to the every two hours that he wanted to eat--freaking out and feeling his belly to make sure he was breathing. This continued when we finally got to bring him home. Actually, I still do this and he's FOUR. :) Some things never leave you once you experience them.

The point is, my little family has been through a lot in the past four years BUT God knew what he was doing when he gave us Canyon. He picked us to be his parents for a reason and our goal is to just be the best parents to him that we can possibly be. We don't have all the happy hospital moments captured on camera. We don't have pictures of him coming home in his little sailboat outfit and the idea of reminiscing that birth makes me feel sick. However, what we do have is SO much better than all of those things. We have Canyon....a smart, HEALTHY, hilarious, and adorable four-year old little boy. 

I couldn't ask for a better son. Dale and I are blessed to have him in our lives. He has taught us so many things about the true meaning of love and how we want to live our lives. I cherish each day that I get to be his mommy and I long for others to appreciate the privilege of being a parent.

More to come on this topic...but I'll leave you with this....

Life is short--PLEASE remember that and live each day without regret. :)

Follow Me On MY Journey.

Hello! Here's a little about me.

First, this is NOT a professionally written blog--there will be mistakes, opinions, and even adult subjects...just FYI. :)

My name is Brittany. I have a four-year-old son, named Canyon, and a wonderful man in my life (who IS my baby's daddy). We have a beautiful life full of adventure and stress.

Baton Rouge is our home and we are slowly learning more about life every minute. Becoming parents too early, and overcoming the struggles we have faced is a huge accomplishment for us. We give ourselves a pat on the back even if we know it is far from over.

Let me start with giving you a few details about who I am.

I am addicted to my son—he’s so CUTE. Coffee is a MUST for me every morning.  Cooking and photography are both extreme passions of mine. Cleaning is my stress reliever. My family is THE most important thing in the world to me. Working makes me happy... Music and quotes have gotten me through some really tough times. Laughing is the best medicine.  I have a very unique personality--ask anyone. I'm "strange" ....as Dale would say.

I try to always be optimistic and I absolutely believe..


“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.” :)

Now, let me tell you a little about what this blog will be about.

Basically, I just want to write about things in my life; my journey...

I want to share my personal story of becoming a mom.

AND...

I want to share my parenting adventures.

What better place to do that than in a blog? 

So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and enjoy. There are lots of fun things to come.