“We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world.”
-Sameerah Shareef
Everyone who knew me before I became a mother knows I was the most impatient person with a dreadful case of anxiety. I learned quickly that being impatient with a kiddo—is next to impossible. It’s not about my schedule—it’s about Canyon’s. It’s what he wants—when he wants. I must say that I give myself props for being A LOT more patient than I used to be—I still have my moments. However, my anxiety is about the same, BUT I have learned how to control it which makes a HUGE difference.
Bringing Canyon home from the hospital was the best day of my life. I remember Dale and I showing him his room, feeding him, and seeing him sleep soundly in my arms-- making cute little baby sounds. I remember him snuggled up on Dale’s chest just completely content after chugging one of his first bottles at home. He didn’t cry, ever. He was the sweetest baby in the world—except during his first bath.
Since Canyon was in the NICU for 13 days, his umbilical cord was removed there in order to properly hook him to some of the machines feeding him medication—(they hooked it into his belly-button). So, once we got him home, we could give him regular baths. We had one of the baby bathtubs but FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, we decided to use the big bathtub—easier for me to hold him and bathe him, I guess. I put water in the tub and got everything we would need. Dale and I worked together during this little experiment—and thank GOD he was there because I had an emotional breakdown.
Once his little body hit the water, he SCREAMED…& screamed…..and SCREAMED. I bathed him as quickly as I could and got him out. Dale had the towel ready and he wrapped him up. The look on Dale’s face was priceless when he looked at me and said, “He just peed on me…..and pooped.” Poor little Canyon was now quiet and almost asleep. The poor little guy was sooooo worked up from bath time that he had two accidents—on daddy-- and was now passing out. I immediately started crying because I knew what was coming. We had to repeat bath time…GREAT.... The scenario was pretty much the same, except I was crying and Dale and I bickered back and forth the whole time. Canyon screamed-- I worked quickly, and we got him out. This time, we dressed him and let him fall fast asleep. Even something as simple as a bath can cause major baby drama. But, the important thing is, Dale and I worked together and we made it through. After that first bath, Canyon started to love taking a bath so it all worked out in the end.
I had this whole plan about how I wanted things to go when I became a mom, but when I saw that baby and he made his presence known—out the window that plan went. No one can ever express to you in words the feeling of being a mom. No one can explain the joy, love, and complete fear that comes over you when you realize you are now responsible for another life.
Being a new mom was hard—but more importantly, it made me who I am today. I am a great mother. I will never doubt that about myself, ever. My child loves me more than I could have ever imagined—I know this because he TELLS me 500,000 times a day. Dale and I have done a great job, so far, with raising our son. We know we have a LONG road ahead of us, but we gladly accept the challenge. There may even be more babies in the future—we’ll see.
:)
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