SEVEN

Canyon is almost seven years old. It hit me today that my baby is NOT a baby anymore. That scares the HELL out of me. I mean, he will be in SECOND grade. He has his own personality. He has his own way of doing things. He has his own mind (for sure) even if he acts just like me....which scares me even more. Most of all, it worries me. The world is such a shit place these days. I worry for him. I know it's normal as a mom to worry but I don't think you guys realize...I am a compulsive worrier. I worry constantly about EVERYTHING. Most of it is from my anxiety, which I have been taking steps to get under control. BUT not all of my worrying stems from that. Some of it is just me freaking myself out. I think my son may get this from me a little (worry and anxiety).








Last night, Canyon was jumping around and being a boy (wild) and he hurt his foot. Today, I had to take him to the doctor for an x-ray to make sure it wasn't broken....almost seven years without a broken bone....and counting (thank God). Well, he was a nervous wreck. When we got there, we exchanged words. Ex: Canyon: " I'm not going in there." Me: "YES, you ARE." Blah blah blah. Finally, we are in, papers are filled out, and we are waiting. He is turning white, can't talk. I swear, I thought he was going to puke. Then, we are called back. We are waiting, again....and then the nurse comes in and BAM...he's fine. It's the anxiety that makes him sick with worry. I hate that for him because I know EXACTLY how he feels and it's terrible.


L


iving with anxiety (severe anxiety...like mine) is MISERABLE. It's an all-day, everyday thing. Tight chest, tense muscles, just a bunch of BS. I choose to deal with mine on a more emotional level and not take medication for it (even if I probably should). Whatever.






I have no reason for this post. The end.






XOXO,
B