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Please feel free to email me with any questions/ comments/ ideas that you may have @ bhutchinson401@gmail.com

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3.20.2014

SEVEN

Canyon is almost seven years old. It hit me today that my baby is NOT a baby anymore. That scares the HELL out of me. I mean, he will be in SECOND grade. He has his own personality. He has his own way of doing things. He has his own mind (for sure) even if he acts just like me....which scares me even more. Most of all, it worries me. The world is such a shit place these days. I worry for him. I know it's normal as a mom to worry but I don't think you guys realize...I am a compulsive worrier. I worry constantly about EVERYTHING. Most of it is from my anxiety, which I have been taking steps to get under control. BUT not all of my worrying stems from that. Some of it is just me freaking myself out. I think my son may get this from me a little (worry and anxiety).








Last night, Canyon was jumping around and being a boy (wild) and he hurt his foot. Today, I had to take him to the doctor for an x-ray to make sure it wasn't broken....almost seven years without a broken bone....and counting (thank God). Well, he was a nervous wreck. When we got there, we exchanged words. Ex: Canyon: " I'm not going in there." Me: "YES, you ARE." Blah blah blah. Finally, we are in, papers are filled out, and we are waiting. He is turning white, can't talk. I swear, I thought he was going to puke. Then, we are called back. We are waiting, again....and then the nurse comes in and BAM...he's fine. It's the anxiety that makes him sick with worry. I hate that for him because I know EXACTLY how he feels and it's terrible.


L


iving with anxiety (severe anxiety...like mine) is MISERABLE. It's an all-day, everyday thing. Tight chest, tense muscles, just a bunch of BS. I choose to deal with mine on a more emotional level and not take medication for it (even if I probably should). Whatever.






I have no reason for this post. The end.






XOXO,
B

3.13.2014

Holy 2014

It's been over a year since I've hit the keyboard to update you on my life. Crazy how time flies!


I'll say 2013 was a pretty OKAY year, not fantastic, not terrible. I started and completed a course to become a Medical Biller/Coder. You have NO idea how proud I am of myself for starting something and FINISHING IT! I am a VERY indecisive person and I tend to start things and get bored ( I get it from my daddy.)


 I am still unemployed--with a Medical Coding job. I still got my #serverlife job. HOLLA.




 But it's all water under the bridge now. I am actively looking for a job and hope to find something by May-June. I am also going to be completing my Bachelors degree online (for Business). It's not something I need to do to get a job but rather for myself. I would never be satisfied with just a certificate. It's just not in me to settle when I know I can do better and accomplish so much more. I have one life to life. I have one chance to do everything I want to do. I have one chance to show my son that anything is possible. After all, he is the reason I do everything I do.


Canyon: Where do I even begin? He is HUGE. He will be SEVEN in May. SEVEN?! Wtf balls? I cannot believe it. I'm aging. He's super smart and super smart ASS. He get it from his momma.


We are nearing the end of the school year and also starting our third and final year (THANK GOD) of T-ball. I am so ready for big boy baseball.... LSU is in our future. He's legit people.


Here's a concern. My son attends a smaller private school. They do not have a sports program. I love the school. I love the teachers. I love the location. I love everything about this school and would recommend it to anyone. However, Canyon is very active. He states that he wants to be involved in sports. So, my question is, when do I make the transition to a new school with the same values and education with the addition to a sports program? I don't want to do it too soon and I don't want to wait to long. I worry that a new school may discourage him. Now, my son is not shy at all. He can walk up to a kid at the park and be best buds in seconds but that's him choosing to do that on his own. Us moving him to a new school is almost forced and I don't know how he will react.


The joys of motherhood. Worry, worry, and more worry.


I can't possibly update you on every detail of my life nor everything that has happened in the last year. So, I'll just leave you with this for now and work on some more interesting topics later.


We are still here. We are still kicking. We have a lot to do this year. We are happy. We are healthy. We thank God for all we have. We make choices. We live with the results. We are brave. We are honest. And we are BLESSED..




XOXO,


B